What Seems To Work  

Research has found that there are a number of ways parents can help teenagers develop a responsible attitude to alcohol. <UL><LI>Communication <LI>Your Expectations <LI>Supervision <LI>Coping Skills <LI>Should I Introduce My Child to Alcohol? </LI></UL><STRONG>Communication </STRONG><BR><BR>Communicating with your teenager can be hard work. Keep at it, even when the going gets tough. Avoid criticism, lecturing, interrogating and blaming. Be interested in your teenager's life while respecting their need for privacy.&nbsp; <BR><BR>There are times when your teenager may be more open to talk such as while you are out in the car.&nbsp; Make room for her/him to open up to you by listening carefully without interrupting or trying to change how he/she thinks or feels. <BR><BR>If you are concerned about your son or daughter tell them what concerns you. It's important that you get the help and support you need. Check out the list of resources on parenting teenagers in the help and information s

Research has found that there are a number of ways parents can help teenagers develop a responsible attitude to alcohol.

• Communication
• Your Expectations
• Supervision
• Coping Skills
• Should I Introduce My Child to Alcohol?

Communication

Communicating with your teenager can be hard work. Keep at it, even when the going gets tough. Avoid criticism, lecturing, interrogating and blaming. Be interested in your teenager's life while respecting their need for privacy. 

There are times when your teenager may be more open to talk such as while you are out in the car.  Make room for her/him to open up to you by listening carefully without interrupting or trying to change how he/she thinks or feels.

If you are concerned about your son or daughter tell them what concerns you. It's important that you get the help and support you need. Check out the list of resources on parenting teenagers in the help and information section.

Your Expectations

Make clear rules about alcohol use with your teenager and stick to them. Be reasonable, but make sure they know what kind of behaviour you expect. Being too strict in terms of alcohol doesn't seem to work, neither does being very liberal. Somewhere in between is best.

Discuss why these rules are important. Work out together what will happen if the rules are broken. Be consistent. If they are broken, follow through with the consequences. You won't be popular but your child will know where he or she stands. Some consequences parents have found useful are grounding their teenager or giving them extra household chores.

It is important that you set a good example with your own drinking behaviour. Any hypocrisy on your part will be quickly spotted by your teenager.

If at all possible, both parents should agree and stick to the same rules about alcohol, even if they don't live together. Kids quickly pick up on any inconsistency between their parents and use it to their own advantage! If your partner or ex-partner will not support you, then call on other family members or friends.

Supervision

Young people tend to drink more when their parents are not around. As a parent it is your responsibility to protect your child from harm, as best you can. Adult supervision is often not welcomed by teenagers. Get support from other adults. This might include relatives, close friends or the parents of your teenager's friends.

Try to keep up with what is going on in your teenager's life. Get to know their friends and make sure you know where your teenager is. That doesn't mean you need to follow them around or try to be part of their circle of friends. They need privacy too.

Coping Skills

Adolescence can be a very intense and difficult time and some young people use alcohol to try to blot out their problems. It's important for teenagers to learn positive skills to deal with stress, frustration and conflict. You might encourage: 

• the positives in the young person's lives. Eg. Things they are good at or enjoy like sport, art, music
• exercise
• talking their problems over with someone

If your family has a history of alcoholism, then there is an increased risk that your teenager may become dependent on alcohol. It is important that you tell your teenager this and encourage them to take extra care with their drinking.

Should I Introduce My Child to Alcohol?

Although we hear stories about the French introducing their children to alcohol very early on, research shows that the younger a person starts drinking the more likely they are to run into problems. It is better for young people to start drinking later rather than earlier. Remember, as the parent/caregiver it is your job to set boundaries around the use of alcohol.

Safety tips

Tell them they can phone you at any time and you will come and pick them up.

• Give them a phone card or get a Home 0800 number so that they can ring you from any phone, even if they have no money
• Give them some emergency money so they can get a taxi home
• Organise a car pool with the parents of your teenager's friends
  For younger teens communicate with other parents
• Know where your teenager is

Discuss in advance what should happen when they get home. For example, many parents want to know that their teenager is safely home before going off to sleep. You may arrange for them to let you know that they are home.